Realization

After thinking deeply and taking into consideration the recent things I learned from a gender diversity seminar (which is another story), I finally got into the concrete conclusion that I AM NOT A LESBIAN. I only idolize older (this is comparing their ages to mine, of course) women not because I am sexually attracted to them, but because I want to be just like them. Of course, I also idolize male figures (preferably older as well), but people make it such an issue when I blab about my female idols.

Let me enumerate and explain (which to others might say ‘defend’) each of my idols:

1.       ANJELICA HUSTON. She is my first ever favorite actress. And I just LOVE HER! She is just a wonderful actress. Her portrayal of Morticia made me want to become an actress myself, despite my previous hatred for the idea, and made me concoct fictions, mostly about the Addams Family. She is also an advocate of anti-animal cruelty, which made me love animals more and hate those people who have pets but do not care about them. Despite many netizens bashing her looks, she remains surgery-free and says, “I’d rather be a blue-haired lady than a woman trying to regain youth by surgery and pulled in all direction,” and I idolize her even more for that. At the same time, I feel the same way. She might not look as youthful as she were when she first played Morticia or when she was Maerose Prizzi, but she has this beauty and elegance that we fans can see and are willing to defend to anyone who protests. She may not be the most known actress in Hollywood, nor the most Oscar-awarded actress (in fact, us Anjelicaholics find her underrated), but she is definitely a superb artist. She is also a survivor (read her autobiography A Story Lately Told), and I wish to be able to surpass the challenges I will face as bravely as she did. And lastly, she is a late bloomer, just like me. Oh, and I love her clothing choice ALWAYS. Probably because according to her, the key is wearing comfortable clothing. And despite her age, she remains chic.

2.       AYEN MUNJI-LAUREL. This woman is definitely GORGEOUS! She has this angelic beauty no one in the right mind can deny. I admit that I first fell in love with her because of her beauty when I saw her in a local soap opera (Amaya), but I got to know her better. She probably, if not really is, is the

kindest celebrity who ever walked the earth. She raised her children well, and it reflects. She is highly religious and she surpassed the hardships life gave her. Despite her stature in life, she remains down-to-earth and accommodating to her jolly, if not annoying (me being one of them) at times fans. She also shares this wonderful marriage with her ever-so-handsome husband, Franco Laurel (whom my friend Gleng Suzara also has a huge crush on). How I wish to have the same marriage in the future. She also has this elegant taste of clothing, no matter what she wears, she never fails to look as if she stepped out of a magazine. She made me love and appreciate the Philippine theater. Oh, and I almost forgot! She has this amazing voice that she doesn’t have to shout the highest notes (like many singers do) just to sound impressive.

3.       BEBE NEUWIRTH. Beatrice is just whoa. She’s not so young anymore but her body will make young men drool and young women like me go into an extensive diet and exercise just to try to have the same body. And having that body allowed her to do Bob Fosse-hard choreographies we witnessed in Chicago, and after her hip transplant, she can still groove. She is not the best singer in the whole world (comparing her to Mariah Carey, of course) but I really admire the set of lungs and pipes she have – can you imagine singing a high-toned song while dancing and still sounding wonderful – now that is talent. She is also a good actress; she already has two Tony’s and few TV nominations, who will say she’s not? Honestly, I would not have paid her more attention if she did not play Morticia Addams on Broadway but seeing her other works made me love her even more. And her beauty is… how do you describe it? I won’t say exotic but it is definitely not the usual American beauty. I admire her experimental taste in fashion but I do not usually agree with what she wears. If Anjel made me want to become an actress, Beatrice made me want to become a theater actress. She showed me the passion one can have just to do one live show. She doesn’t have many projects and as a fan, I demand the big studios and networks to show us fans more of our idol.

 


4.       MERYL STREEP. She’s such an amazing actress, Academy Awards  and nominations everywhere! And who would think that she is past 60 years old already?! She did Mamma Mia! when she was 59 and it was not reflected on the film.

 


5.       CHERIE GIL. One word to describe her, elegance. No matter what role she portrays, she always retains this air of elegance but that is not a bad thing. She’s a chic, despite her age. And well, she looks quite a bit like Anjel.

6.       DAWN ZULUETA. Pure beauty. Oozing with talent. And she’s kind, she recognizes the presence of her fans and she has this fans’ club which sends the fans an autographed photo of her when their birthday comes (I received one, yey!)

 


7.       CARLA GUEVARRA. I only saw her once (in The Addams Family A New Musical at Meralco Theater in which she played Alice Beineki) but I just love her. (Photo credits to @carlaguev from Twitter)

I did not say anything about idolizing actresses only, right?

8.       LIANA BARRO. She’s my Journalism 101 and 103 (News Writing and Investigative Journalism) professor and I just adore her. She teaches as if she’s only playing (which according to her is how she treats her work). Despite her fast-paced teaching and high-standard grading, I learned so much from her. She made me want to become a journalist someday. She’s always busy with work but she never fails to enjoy, party, and relax. I do not know if she knows this but she is a great inspirational speaker. She shares stories of her life, inspiring people like me, without intending to. And the students who passed whatever subject she teaches will surely be successful in life, just like she is. I believe she is highly-religious and family-oriented person. And the brain she has, my gosh, I think she knows everything!

9.       MARILYN BAROJA. She was my Physics teacher when I was in high school. Besides the fact that she is so brainy, I like the way she taught us – going beyond

the borders of the black board because there is so much to write, illustrating how to measure distance and other stuff on the tiled floor, keeping the atmosphere light despite the mega-hard to understand lessons in Physics, and encouraging the not-so-bright classmate/s of mine to try and participate in class. I promised her that I will be a Physics teacher and she keeps on reminding me that every time I visit the school T.T. I remember the time when I was the school’s representative to the Physics quiz bee and I was in 11th  place. I was crying over my loss and disappointing her when she said while laughing at me, “Ano ka ba Jai (my nickname), para ‘tong tanga. Tumigil ka na nga sa pag-iyak, baka isipin nila kung ano ginawa ko sa’yo. Ok lang yan.”

 

 10.   LILIBETH MAYOR. She was my Biology teacher when I was in high school. She is more of an aunt than a teacher. When I have problems, she’s there to listen. She would ask me to do something for her (may it be redoing her resume, creating a poster (which is still existing, I am proud to say) for the Bio Lab, doing an assignment of her sons Kiel and David) and I will refuse to be paid, she’ll say, “Ang kulit mo talaga.” But when she is insistent, a threat will come if I won’t oblige her. “Magagalit ako sa’yo kapag hindi mo ako sinamahan,” she said when I was too shy (?) to come with her when she ‘kidnapped’ me. She’s like a walking Biology encyclopedia. During class, everything is just a blast – we had jingles and we learn at the same time. Before, the jingles my classmates and I made for Biology were used when we took the UPCAT. Most of us did not pass but we still remember our Biology.

 


11.   RACQUEL CARACAS.  She was my Earth Science teacher and probably the most terror educator I will ever face. On our first day of class, she scolded us for having a dirty classroom (“Ambababoy niyo! SSC pa man din kayo,” she said.) Outside the classroom, she mother-like, she’ll treat you as her daughter and you can talk about anything under the sun.

I also did not say anything about real persons only, right?

12.   MORTICIA ADDAMS. PERFECT. Perfect life, perfect family, perfect marriage, perfect husband, perfect figure… she’s just the perfect woman! She’s the most beautiful, sexiest, and luckiest woman ever created by the imagination of mortals. She has this dark elegance that will make any man turn and stare and fall in love with her. And there is her marriage with Gomez – she adores him and he adores her more than his life. This is probably the reason why I am still single, my standards for a boy are not so high, just tall, smart, hardworking, kind, romantic, and caring; but my relationship standards are – to have a relationship as perfect as Morticia and Gomez’s. LOL. But the most admirable thing about Morticia is not her appearance, nor her husband and her family, nor her life, but her ability to live her life as simple as possible, as if she does not know how lucky she is. Sometimes, I pretend to be like her.

And lastly,

13.   EUGENIA TERESA “GIGI” T. GAVINO-PUNSALANG. My mom. My mom is not perfect, no one in the living is. But the sacrifices she made to raise my sister and I were enough for me to idolize her. She may be moody at times, I might get into arguments with her, but I love her very much. Sometimes I might not show the love and gratitude I feel for her but I am grateful to God for making my mom my mother. I might kid around and say I wish Morticia Addams will be my mother but I’ll never exchange my mom for anything. I am really scared of working, why? Because I will be away from my mom. I have been so depended with my mom for the past 18, almost 19 years, I do not know how to survive alone.
              My mom is so beautiful just like her mom (anyareh saken?!). She’s a great cook. She knows how to tighten her belt even though she already cannot breath. And most of all, she loves me and my sister so much that whenever and wherever we need her, she’ll do everything just to be by our side.

So you see? I just idolize these 13 women’s attributes making me idolize these women themselves. I just summed up my analysis after thinking over whether I am lesbian or not. So I really am not lesbian at any point.

Now the reason for me liking old (comparing again to my own age) people? Well, probably because they already experienced life and they already know what they are doing. They do not just blab around (just like me). And probably because I really am born in the wrong year, instead of 1995, maybe I was supposed to be born on 1985 or 1975 or something.