I Am Pabebe (And NOT Proud To Be)

I know that for some reason, these Pabebe Girls (Ugh, they are proper noun now!) are famous by whining online, via Youtube. And I also know that for some unfathomable reason, some people like them. I, on the other hand, do not see the purpose of their fame nor do I see their purpose period. And yet, here I am saying that I am a Pabebe (UGH, I HATE TO ADMIT THAT!!!!).

So first, how do I define Pabebe. Well, primarily, I do not give a damn about what truly is the definition of Pabebe. But I define Pabebe as whining like an errant child asking for sweets. And given that definition, I hate to admit that I am Pabebe - because I realize that I whine... ALL THE TIME. And it actually took me the 20 years of my life to admit to myself that I whine.

I do not really know the reason why I am blogging this. But hey, I live in a democratic country where freedom of expression is present, I want to express myself and the internet is available, so might as well blog this. And I do not care if you do not like what I am blogging about. So for those who disagree, go, comment and bash me, if that makes your day.

PABEBE: WHINING

I recently watched a wonderful play of The Sandbox Collective titled #NoFilter. I must say, it was good. The actors were great, the monologues were amazing, the set was so cool, in totality, it was an awesome show (Okay, I am being redundant here). However, I was not able to relate. Well, I was able to, but not because I did those things that millennials do, but because I know a lot of people around me were doing what millennials do. I could relate because I also observed those things among my friends. Yet, here is the catch: I do not like it in the way that the show was about whining young adults. They were whining about how they are misunderstood, how people expect them to be, how they want to be like this but they cannot, how they do not enjoy life, how life did not meet their expectation, et cetera, et cetera.

I guess, after watching #NoFilter, I started to realize that the generation I am is a generation of whiners. I do not really know if the radicals of the 60s or the hippies of the 70s or the baby boomers of the 80s were also whining about not being understood and other stuff, but it would seem to me that the millennials are highlighted for their whining given that the internet is readily available and with just a click of a finger, one could post his or her sentiment (much of like what I am doing).

And then, few days ago, I went to my dentist. There, I witnessed and participated on a conversation between a grandmother and a VAWC advocate. They were talking about the grandchild's mother who was taking away her privacy and freedom because the mother was checking her phone when she is unaware of it, the mother was forbidding her to go out with her friends, the mother has a standing curfew even when the child was with her grandmother, et cetera, et cetera. Well, perhaps, the mother was a tad too strict, perhaps the mother is a bit paranoid, and perhaps the mother is suffering some mental disorder, but for a fifteen year old girl, does it REALLY matter if your mother checks your phone? Does it REALLY matter if your mother does not allow you to go out with your friends? Does it REALLY matter if your mother is strict?

My mother is strict. Until now that I am working, I still have to ask for her permission if I could go out with my friends. I still have to ask for her permission if I could buy something, even if that was from my salary. When I was in high school, my mother never let me to go on a sleepover. When I was in high school, my mother never let me to go to my classmate's house unless it was for a practice or for a project or unless there was no class the following day. When I was in college and I perpetually had my phone with me, my mother used to check my phone (that was why my secret blew into my face... Gosh, the drama was unbearable!). When I was in college, it was not until when I was in fourth year college that my mother allowed me to go out with my friends and go to a bar in Morato. When I was in college, I never really was allowed to go out with my friends and go home late (unlike my friends).

Even though I was mad whenever my mother would not allow me to do a number of things, I know the reason why my mother imposed such policies was because we are not financially well-off. How could I go to Pampanga and Pangasinan with my friends if we barely have the $$ to go to the market. Another reason was because my friends live in the North, while I live in the South. And if they decided to go to SM North after school for a night cap, even when I go home an hour earlier than them, I would still be traveling when they were already in deep slumber in their home.

So I really do not get the child's reason for feeling so down and the grandmother's need to talk to a VAWC advocate to find solution for the mother's craziness. Just the same way I do not see the reason why people think of committing suicide just because a certain part of the society do not accept or do not understand them.

If only adults are as cute as babies when they whine...

But then again, I also do whine. And I feel the need of disclosing my Pabebe-ness so that I will not be tagged as self-righteous. And, well, I feel guilty (and disgusted) about my being a Pabebe...

I am a Pabebe...

• in the gym - Okay, so recently, I started going to the gym to be fit and because I hate seeing myself in the mirror looking like a log (shapeless, I mean). On my first week, when the instructor would tell me to do this and that, I would just nod and do what he told me to do. About a week or two weeks in, I met this two girls, a year younger than me, and we became a bit close. That was when I started whining. I would say 'It's heavy,' which was true, but ultimately meant that the trainer would lighten up the weights. As time wore on, I learned to say no when I do not feel like doing the exercise. Just last night, when I weighed myself and saw that after a month of going religiously to the gym, I did not lose a pound, I realized that I was an effing Pabebe. The instruction actually teased me of being a Pabebe and I was a bit pissed, now with losing not a single pound, I realized that he was right;

• at home - Looking back, even before I started working, I hardly do a thing at home. All I ever did that benefited both my mother and I was to fix the bed in the morning, do the dishes, and occasionally fold the laundry (which I do grudgingly). When my mother asks me to sweep the floor, I would tell her that I will do it later, which would take such a long time that my mother would do the sweeping herself. I do not know how to cook, but I know how to cook rice (although my mother would be the one to check the pot every now and then, not me). I only cleaned the refrigerator once, only because my mother was not at home. When I started working, nothing about my house chores changed. Every morning, while it is too early for my mother to eat but I am already eating, I would see her sweeping the floor, cleaning the fridge, start doing the laundry, feed and let the cat out, and so much more (not to mention that she prepares my breakfast and packed lunch). In the afternoon, my mother would go to tutorial sessions yet, when she comes home, she still takes care of the cat and do other chores (except doing the bed and washing the dishes). NOW, I HAVE THE NERVE OF GETTING PISSED AND FEELING TIRED. Ugh, I hate my Pabebe-ness;

• when I was still studying - I always ranted about my classmates, how some of them are not responsible, how some of them comes to class late, how some of them have a dying grammar skills, how some of them are lazy, and a bunch of other stuff. And then I realize, DUH!!! They are not like me. Just like how I am not just like them. I should've learned about benefit of the doubt earlier in my life;

• about saving - I said that I want to save up so that I can buy a new phone, new clothes, new shoes, even a car. But then again, whenever I feel like buying, I would. Like for example, this concert that features my favorite singers, it is not a necessity, but I want to watch. And I already have the ticket. Now that I have the ticket, I am thinking, is it worth it? Perhaps in some way, it is worth it. I mean, my inner fan girl is having a party. But my I-wanna-save girl is scowling at me (and so is my mother). But you know what is worse, I am whining about my incapability of saving up AND my incapability of buying things that I want. PABEBE!!!

• about the Philippine government - I always rant to my mother about how bad I think JUNIPER would be if he would be elected as the next president of the republic, or how I think PLUTO is a good person but does NOT have the makings of a president and how his wife CHACHA is actually tarnishing his name, and of course, the traffic, the corruption, and so many others. I just rant and do nothing to to help alleviate the situation. However, at least I am a registered voter, I can help make change next year during the elections;

• about the practice of journalism in the Philippines - I would constantly say NOEL is a bad reporter and is not a journalist at all, that he just bullies other reporters, or that he is self-righteous. But then again, I do not rant to the proper people, perhaps the KBP or the management. And who am I actually to critique, when I hardly have the time to listen, watch, or read the news?

• about my dreams*** - I have so many dreams. I want to perform, I want to act, I want to sing, I want to teach, I want to study, I want, I want, I want... but then, I am not even sure which dreams could really be my reality. And the worse is, I am not doing anything to make those dreams a reality:

1. Singing - I could do vocal exercises, but I don't. And I self-pity about my lack of finances to go on legit singing classes.
2. Journalistic writing - I say I want to become a journalist, but I do not know half the cabinet members of the Philippine government. And like what I said, I hardly have the time to watch or read or listen to the news.
3. and others which I better not mention, they might bore the hell out of you guys.

*** But give me please the  benefit of the doubt: I just graduated from college and I do not yet have the means to do all my dreams (into their extravagant extent, I mean). But I know that I could and i SHOULD start small.

Realizing that I am a Pabebe made me disgusted with myself. I am actually like those people I dislike. That thought made me have this mid-year resolution: It is high time for me to be mature and know what I must do. This is the time for me to separate the must do and the want to do. Most of all, I MUST STOP THE EFFING WHINING. Just like what was mentioned in #NoFilter: Say no to Global Whining.

DREAM. PLAN. DO.

The Dismal State of the Philippine Mainstream Entertainment Industry

Okay, so I said many weeks back in my last blog entry that I will be doing the ACTORS-WHO-ACT. And here I am, doing it. Yey! But here’s a little catch, I will be adding a bit more. I will also be discussing the dismal situation of the Philippine television and the Philippine mainstream cinema (Emphasis on the MAINSTREAM, so for those indie-loving film buffs, don’t worry, I won’t be bashing indie films. Though I must say that I hate poverty porn indie films.)

This entry will probably sound a lot like ranting, so if you do not want to read a bunch of outbursts from a person who you believe is in no position to critique, the close icon is just on the top right corner of the window, click it.

Now, first topic for discussion, actors who act. I greatly believe that the purpose of acting is to portray a DIFFERENT character. So, an actor must be the one to adjust to the character, not the other way around. There is this Filipino young actor who is the ultimate crush of teenagers and young adults (and who will remain nameless as I do not want to fight with bashers and also because I want people to guess) who has a bad boy look and attitude. Lemme call this guy BADONG. Badong’s film and television characters, by some reason, are always rich bad boy. He is actually doing a remake of a world renowned television series, and the character he is playing was drastically modified. In the original version, the character was a kind guy. And in this reboot version, the character was a rich bad boy. So you see where the “WHUT?!” lies?

Obviously, because Badong is very famous, he has the right to say “Hey, I want a character that is, well, to make the explanation simple, just like me.” So, even if he was supposed to be doing a good guy role, the character would be modified to be just like who he is. And the purpose of acting goes POOF!

Please allow me to express my opinion that the reason why Badong is given such privilege, is because, besides the fact that he is mega famous, I think he just cannot act. He could definitely memorize the script, but I doubt that he can actually act. The only way to test my theory is if the management would give him a completely different character. Say… a gay role? Or perhaps a meek, nerd guy? Or something DIFFERENT FROM THE EFFING BAD BOY CHARACTER!!!!

Another classic example is this old lady actress, who I will give the alias of BARBIE. During her younger years, and actually until now, she is very pretty. I believe she was tagged as the Philippine’s version of this very famous Academy Award-winning Hollywood actress. Not because she could act in the same caliber, but because she looks kind of like this Hollywood actress. Anyways, Barbie has been in the Philippine television and cinema since forever, and from forever until now, her acting skills did not improve. She just delivers her lines in this dead pan face, raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, and the director shouts cut.

Perhaps it is because Barbie is a veteran actress that she is given roles until now. Why she was actually considered an actress in the olden times is a great mystery to me. And I guess, directors are nahihiya to tell her that her acting skills, or lack thereof, is appalling. You know, this is one of the moments when the hiya characteristic of the Filipinos is a bane. Maybe the solution would be for the management to stop giving her roles. Just give Barbie’s husband more jobs so that they won’t become poor. I mean, at least Barbie’s husband could act. Or maybe some advertising company should create an advertisement featuring the beautiful faces of the Philippines throughout the years and include Barbie.

Another example, is this yet another famous, by some miracle, award-winning actress, who I will christen as Josefa. Josefa has won more than 10 awards by speaking her dialogues in this monotonous voice and a wild penchant of widening her eyes in every other line. Watching her feels like watching an owl, honestly! For those who are familiar with Bebe Neuwirth's character, Lilith Sternin in Cheers and Frasier, you guys know that she speaks monotonously. The difference between Lilith and Josefa is that Lilith is a character, while Josefa is an effing actress! I assure you, that even though I have not seen Bebe Neuwirth perform live, I know that she does not speak monotonously when she acts. Josefa is like a walking robot. Whether she is angry, or sad, or or happy, or condescending, all Josefa does when portraying a character is stare at the opposite character with ever big eyes (like saucers, if you must) and speak in a flat voice. And she is an award-winning actress!!! What happened?? There is this one child actor, who I will call Dora, who imitated Josefa's ever so redundant acting style. All who've seen Dora imitating Josefa was laughing like crazy, not realizing that Dora was showing them the truth - that Josefa cannot act. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

For my last example of actors who act, or rather, who CANNOT act, is this middle aged woman I will baptize as Inday. Inday belongs to a VERY well-known family, which I think made her think she can penetrate the Philippine silver screen and the television. Well, actually, she already did – several bloody times. And I think, the same principle that applied to Barbie was applied to Inday, which was why she has films and shows – the hiya. I mean, no one in their right mind would claim that Inday could act. My groupmates and I did a thesis on one of her films and all of us reached a conclusion (which, sadly, we cannot include in the results of our study) – Inday cannot act even if that is the only way she could save her sons’ lives. By some unfathomable reason, Inday has this penchant of starring in horror films (which I think require the most authenticity in all the genres of films). And all she does in all of her horror films is scrunch up her face (or worse, just frown) and shout in this barely half-hearted scream. And to demonstrate how stupid she sounds when she screams, open your mouth and say in a loud voice, “Aaaaah.” Done? That is how she does it. Nuff said.

I could go on forever, but I still have to discuss the depressing trend in the Philippine mainstream cinema and television.

First with the acting style. Comparing the acting style of the Filipinos with the Americans, Americans would never shout just to prove that the character is mad; but the Filipinos would scream their head off just to let the person standing inches from him/her know that s/he is angry. Filipino actors also love to do big movements on screen, like to look smug, the camera would take a close up shot of a female elitist raise an eyebrow and flip her hair just to let the audience know that she is belittling another character. I mean, to raise an eyebrow is enough, given that the camera can do a close up of her face. If you are a theater performer acting on stage, such action is needed since the audience from the balcony has to see your movements. BUT NOT ON TV OR MOVIE. Then there are also these outrageous monologues. It is true that as humans, we sometimes speak to ourselves, but never long monologues. I mean, I would say to myself “You can do it, Tin!” but never “The nerve of Jaime! How could she spread a rumor that I had sex with her boyfriend, when she was the one who is sleeping with half the boys in school! I swear, I will take revenge on her! She should not have messed with me. She will regret the day she decided to make fun of me. I will make her feel the wrath of Christine Andrea Cruz!” (Not to mention that her name would be delivered as: CHRISTINE. ANDREA. CRUZ!!!)

Of course, sometimes, you cannot blame the actors for doing such things. They are only just following the script and the direction given to them. But then again, writers and directors should have the right mind of doing things realistically. But people would say, the television and movies are the people’s escape of reality. Fine, true. But there still has to be some boundary for fantasies. Even The Hunger Games has a touch of reality.

Then, the stereotypes. Stereotype is the most stupid thing ever invented/discovered. It is racist, it has no basis and it is too generalizing. For example, dumb blondes. If this is true, then explain to me the existence of Meryl Streep, Jennifer Lawrence, and so many others. Fine, there are blondes who are dumb, but there are also brunettes, red heads, Filipinos, and other non-blondes who are stupid.

In the Philippines, there are a bunch of whitening products that show dark-skinned girl who is sad and bullied and disliked. After using this whitening lotions, the girl would be as white as paper and she would be all smiles, people like her, she is in the ‘in crowd’, and her boy crush would court her. HONESTLY?! There are actually a lot of people who would go to the beach to get tanned. And there are actually a lot of morenas, including me, who are perfectly happy with their skin – Isabel Daza, Lovi Poe, Wilma Doesnt, and a lot more. To be perfectly honest, never have I dreamt of having fair skin. That was why I did not have conviction when I delivered a speech saying that “I’ve always wanted to be like Snow White.”

Then the prejudice in appearance. In our thesis, this is my favorite discussion, which was why I volunteered to do this part. The good looking people are the good guys and the not-so-good looking people are the bad guys or those who are educated are the good guys and the ill-educated are the bad guys. REALLY?! Have we forgotten that the politicians are the ones who rob the dues that we pay? Given the prejudice of the Philippine showbiz industry to good looking people, aspiring actors think that to become an actor, s/he has to have his/her nose fixed, be as white as snow, have the hour glass shape, and other stupid notions. This is why the Philippine show business is full of pretty faces but bad actors.

There are actually a lot more stereotypes, but I want to move on with the most outrageous trend in the Philippine entertainment: the story plots.

I am watching this television show that has three women, all are in some kind of relationship with a man, and all have a child each. All of these women were, at some point, left by their partners. And their reaction? CRY MY EFFING WHOLE HEART OUT AND ACT DESPERATE. This is just not true!!! Many women nowadays are single mothers and what they do is move on from their stupid partners and prove that they actually deserve a better person. As a single mother, you should be the one to be strong because for goodness’ sake, you have a child that you have to feed and send to school. If you will be desperate and weak, who will take care of your innocent child? And so what if your partner left you? The earth is still rotating; the day and night still come and goes, LIFE GOES ON!!! Talk about lack of women empowerment.

Two of these women’s daughters are as stupid as their mothers. When they were told by their sobbing mothers that their fathers left them already and that their fathers no longer love them, these two girls cried their hearts out (just like their mother) and asked “Why did he leave us? When will he come back?” Come on!!!! A lot of children now are raised by a single parent, and some are even more unfortunate not to have both parents and be raised by a guardian. And none of them are that desperate. Okay, fine, you lose a parent, but you still have the other one. You might not have a father figure or a mother figure, but your guardian’s love is enough to fill your heart with warmth. So please, may the management STOP showing such desperation.

Another laspag story plot is the poor-girl-meets-rich-boy-and-poor-girl-works-for-rich-boy. Actually, the whole romance plot is laspag in the Philippine entertainment. There are far more important things than being in love and getting married. Say, having a diploma. Or following your dreams. Or raising your family from poverty. And none of these has to have a romance plot to make them happen. I mean, you do not have to have a girlfriend to graduate college. Neither is it part of the requirement for work to have a boyfriend. If my dream is to become a lawyer, I do not have to have a boyfriend. And if my family is so impoverished, having a boyfriend would only make me spend more. See, romance is not everything!

Almost all of the Philippine TV shows and films are about romance – romantic-comedy, romantic-horror, romantic-drama, gay romance, everything is about romance. But look at the US, How to Get Away with Murder is not romance. Yes, Wes and Rebecca are in a relationship, Michaela is engaged, Conner is in a relationship, and Annalise had a husband and a boyfriend, but their romantic relationship played a minor part in the series. It complicated the murder of Sam, but the story did not revolve in the love story. Another example is Madam Secretary. Yes, Elizabeth and Henry have a very hot relationship, but the story actually revolved on Elizabeth being the US Secretary of State, with the sideline of hers and Henry’s parenthood to their three children, and a bit of their husband and wife relationship. Also, Madam Secretary is about women empowerment. Then there is Smash. Fine, this show actually has more romance in it compared to the first two examples. However, Karen’s love life and Ivy’s love story was not the center of Smash. In fact, they are just included, but the TV series is about creating a Broadway show based on Marily Monroe’s life. Once I see this on the Philippine television, I know that change is happening.

We all know that there are a lot of bad politicians and cops, but you do not have to show that in the shows. Perhaps making them the good people will evoke the change in the real life bad cops and politicians. That is why I wonder why Benjie Paras’s character was killed in Nathaniel. Melai is not good looking, but she is quite a comedienne. Look for other talented people, not beautiful people who can do nothing. I think it is high time to give the people something new. Change is the only constant thing in the world.